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Awesome Etiquette
Kristi DeFuso of Reading, Penn. was bummed when
several guests never made it to her 16th birthday party. “I had my party
in a part of the city my friends weren’t familiar with. I guess I
didn’t give directions enough,” says the 18-year-old, disappointment
still evident in her voice.
Whether it’s a basic birthday bash, a surprise soiree for your best bud
or a graduation get-together, throwing a memorable party is not as easy as
it sounds. To avoid mishaps like Kristi’s, study up on basic party
protocol. With some careful planning, your fiesta will be fabulous!
Your very first party pointer? Plan in advance! Starting one month ahead
is a good rule of thumb -- it will give you time to consider the details.
If you’d like to have the party at your place, think realistically about
how much room you have. If you’re planning a slumber party, how many
sleeping bags will fit on the living room floor? Your pals won’t be
comfy if they’re shoved into a room like sardines!
“The responsibility of the host is to make sure everyone will be
comfortable,” says Julie Dern, our etiquette
expert extraordinaire and founder of the Academy of Etiquette and Protocol
in Orlando, Fla.
In terms of invitations, Julie advises spreading
the word about your party at least two weeks before the big day. If your
event is informal, you can invite guests either by telephone or
handwritten, printed or online invitations. While Kristi
always sends written invites, Ashley Nauta of
Houston called her pals by phone to invite them to her 13th birthday last
year.
When communicating the details of your upcoming bash, tell guests the
location, date and time of the party. If you decide to send formal
invitations, include an “RSVP” date. This French abbreviation (which
stands for “Respondez, s’il vous plait,” or “please respond”)
asks that each guest call to confirm whether he or she will attend.
Give recipients a week to respond -- and remember to include your phone
number so they know where to call! If your friends don’t RSVP
immediately, don’t sweat it. “Kids forget or lose the invitations; you
might have to remind them,” notes Kristi.
When checking in with a guest, Julie suggests
a tactful approach that won’t put him or her on the spot. “Say
something like, ‘I’m calling to make sure you got the invite,’”
says the party pro.
Want to make decorating a snap? Consider a theme party in which the
decorations, plates, cups and party favors center around a certain era,
trend or TV show that you love. Do you never miss an episode of “Buffy
the Vampire Slayer”? Dream of attending a Hawaiian luau? Go for it by
decorating your venue with theme-inspired streamers, balloons, goodies and
even a cake!
You can even ask guests to come in themed costumes! Just be sure to
include a heads-up on the invitations!
Paper plates and plastic utensils are appropriate for an informal
gathering. In fact, they’ll cut clean-up time in half! As far as
munchies go, at least offer sodas and snacks. If the party falls during
lunch or dinnertime, serve a meal at the party. “It doesn’t matter
what the food is,” explains Julie. “Just make
sure that guests are provided for.”
As for the presence of presents, it’s definitely not cool to demand
that guests buy you certain kinds of gifts! However, if a friend phones to
ask what you want, make a few (affordable!) suggestions.
As the hostess, it’s up to you to introduce your friends to each other. Ashley
remembers feeling uncomfortable at a recent party when some guests
didn’t socialize with others. “Your job is to pull people together and
find something they have in common to ignite conversations,” Julie
adds.
So now the party’s over, the cake is all but eaten and your bash was a
blast. But believe it or not, your job is not yet complete! It’s
important to send thank-you notes to those who brought presents. Notes
should hand-written, delivered by mail and express appreciation for your
guest’s appearance at the party and generosity in gift-giving.
“There’s no excuse not to send a thank-you note,” says Julie.
Got it? Okay! Now party away!
Back to the Home Page
If you have any other questions, or would like more
information about attending a class or seminar in proper Etiquette and
Protocol, please feel free to contact us.
Academy of Etiquette & Protocol
Post Office Box 608604
Orlando, Florida 32860
Phone: 1.407.884.4130
Facsimile: 1.407.884.5490
or via e-mail at: information@academyofetiquette.com
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